Thursday, January 14, 2010

the end of the pie as we know it

Sung to the tune of the REM song, the end of the world as we know it. Of course the chorus of that song concludes, "and I feel fine." The same can't be said for day 4 of the 2 month baking moratorium. I try to turn it over to my higher power but my higher power is having a bake sale and offers me a whoopie pie. I say, "just for today..." but I'm fooling no one. I say easy does it, and I think, Huh?
I am an erstwhile athlete, now an ersatz athlete. And it may be time for me to start training again. And if I am going to train, I need a few months off from "white carbs." White carbs make up the strychnine food group. The OA (older athlete) would rather do three hours of restorative yoga than let a white carb sully their temple. If you are going to pollute the alter of your chi with white carbs, you may as well drop your HRM in the fish tank and feed your compression tights to the dog. And baking is pretty much configuring and reconfiguring white carbs. Hence the moratorium. I chose 2 months because the baking binge lasted about that long. And my sister says that a goal without a deadline is just a dream, and an endless baking moratorium is really a nightmare, so I needed a deadline here.
There is a theory that everything we do either helps or stresses our bodies. Training, if done with any vigor or consistency, stresses the body. White carbs stress the body. I don't want to overstress the body, so just for today, I am only going to stress my body with training.
Of course, today is when it gets hard. Because while the baking moratorium started on Monday, I decided the keep and enjoy what was already baked, so I kept and enjoyed the pie. Unlike cake, pie isn't something you can both eat and have. Last night was the end of the pie as we know it, really, the end of the pie. So tonight is going to be the beginning of the white carb withdrawal. And one could argue that self denial is the greatest stress of all.
Now, I have to admit that any dt's will be largely psychological because certain foods are exempt. Honey in my tea is always allowed. Sweetened yogurt, perfectly acceptable. Dark chocolate, only after dinner and within reason, well, I need the antioxidants.
Also too,exceptions can be made for federal holidays if we recognize them, for the super bowl, and for other extraordinary circumstances. So, while I admit that I am powerless over baking and that my life has become unmanageable, there is part of me that still believes I can quit any time.

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